This page is Step 2 in our ground-breaking 3-Step programme: 7 Days To Sober. Click the STEP 2 button above to discover the whole programme.
This fun little alcohol quiz (below) will help you decide where you are on the sober-to-sorry-state spectrum (try saying that quickly after a few swift halves and you’ll see…).
For each question you get wrong, you have to have a swig of beer! Just kidding. In fact there are no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ answers, just truthful and untruthful ones. And obviously not answering truthfully will serve no purpose whatsoever.
So I’ve kept it very simple – just a few yes or no answers required, with a score at the end. There’s a reason it’s so simple to do – with no complicated score calculations or anything like that – and I’ll tell you why later.
I include commentary just below the Thinking Drinking Alcohol Quiz to broadly assess your score and consider future actions. You have to click to see it, only after you’ve done the quiz please!
Now you might think that 25 questions is a lot.
It is true that most other quizzes of this sort normally only have about 10 or so. It’s also true that we could probably say something about your drinking with only a handful of carefully chosen questions. So why the overkill? Why 25 questions?
There are a couple of reasons for this. The first is to genuinely have a good idea of your current situation and not just skim the surface.
The second, and most important reason, though, is to make you think. Specifically, to make you aware of just how many areas of your life alcohol could be potentially (or already is) screwing up.
I don’t claim for a moment that my Drunken Dodo Alcohol Quiz is at all official or backed up by reams of research or anything like that.
Instead, it’s based purely on a common sense approach relating to typical everyday areas of our lives, and my own experience, of course. (I’m 50 years old, and have been alcohol non-dependent for about 15 of them, but that’s another story…)
So again, the drinking alcohol quiz won’t give you precise scientific statistics, but it should give you a pretty good idea of where you stand in relation to booze. Or fall…
It might also inspire you to do something about it, if you want. And if you do want, well, that’s what Drunken Dodo is all about!
Ready? Let’s go!
1) Click the big ‘Take The Quiz’ button below to start. A new window will open.
2) There are 25 interesting and revealing questions. The quiz is entirely anonymous and no answers are stored anywhere.
3) Choose Yes or No for each question, then click ‘Continue’ and ‘Next’ to move on.
4) If you click the ‘Show ALL Questions’ button, you only need to click ‘Continue’ after each answer.
5) Your score will appear at the top of the quiz once you have completed all the questions.
6) Note your percentage score and click below where it says ‘CLICK HERE To Analyse Your Results’.
Are You A ‘Yes’ Person?
If you chose a few ‘Yes’ answers and got a score over 20%, for example, then you can probably assume that alcohol is not the innocent, harmless companion and comforter you might have thought it was.
If most of your answers were ‘Yes’ or you got a score over 40% or 50%, then you would probably agree that alcohol is becoming a serious problem in your life.
But don’t get too comfortable. You ain’t seen nothing yet.
Unless you decide to do something about your alcohol consumption, these issues will only get worse. They may eventually end up destroying your marriage(s), career and companionships, your liver of course and, ultimately, your entire life.
I make no excuses for these harsh words. Alcohol is a harsh, vicious, unforgiving, uncaring poison and there’s only ultimate outcome if you do nothing about it: it will kill you, sooner or later, in one way or another. I’m so glad you made it here.
The Sneaky ‘No’ Answers
Maybe you noticed a change in the style of questions at the end of the quiz. You were not mistaken.
Indeed, if you were inclined to honestly answer ‘Yes’ to many of the questions from Nos. 1-22, then questions Nos. 23, 24 and 25 probably made you want to answer ‘No’. That was just to keep you thinking clearly!
And if you did answer ‘Yes’ to questions 23-25 (especially No.25), then we really need to talk…
And Now, The Good News 🙂
Luckily, even if you did get a score over 20% or even 50% and answered ‘Yes’ to quite a few questions, it’s not at all too late to do something about it and totally get your life back on track.
It’s also much easier than you might think, and can even be fun…
But you have to do something about it NOW.
Alcohol abuse is a long, gentle but slippery slope heading in one direction only: down.
Remember, it’s you the alcohol is abusing, not the other way round.
And that slope is getting steadily steeper, slippier and more treacherous with every step.
Hopefully this quiz will have helped you realise that.
Hey, congratulations! You did the Thinkin’ Drinkin’ Quiz and you’re still here – that’s fantastic!
So here’s some more good news. Let’s assume that because you are still reading, you are not at all happy with ‘where you stand’ as far as alcohol in concerned.
No problem. I’m now going to send you off on the next part of your journey towards sorting out the problem (it goes fast).
CLICK the big blue button below to discover how to stop drinking with the help of the Drunken Dodo – see you there!
Even more good news – that’s fine! And normal. A lot of people – myself included – didn’t actually want to give up altogether, just drink sensibly and normally like everyone else.
I cover all that as part of the programme.
Remember: the choice as to what you do is always yours and yours alone. But forewarned is forearmed. The more information you have, the better decisions you make. You must know your enemy to defeat him.
Or, if you fancy some serous motivation…
If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.
~ Sun Tzu, The Art of War
By following this programme, you will come to deeply understand both alcohol and yourself, and need no longer fear the result of a thousand battles against the blasted bottle.
So click on the big button below anyway, and let’s do this. You’ll see it’s turned orange, by the way. Know why? Because orange symbolises warnings and danger.
I’m trying to warn you, in the friendliest way I can, that the enemy is formidable.
You can’t do it all on your own. You might think you can but you can’t. I thought that for a long long time, and I was wrong – so wrong. And so many wasted years.
We all need some sort of support to deal with this thing, be it an understanding partner, a sympathetic group, an inspiring mentor or ‘accountability partner’, a motivating book or – why not? – a cheerful web site like this one.
There’s absolutely no shame in this. Pride would be a better word. Realising and admitting you have a serious problem, even just to yourself, is a huge first step on the way to recovery.
Fun Fact: You’re often the last one to find out…
So what I’m offering you here is an incredible opportunity for you to get in control of this thing for once and for all.
Alcohol is like gangrene, slowly destroying you from the inside out. With the notable difference that it doesn’t just content itself with consuming your living cells; it desecrates your very soul in the process.
And the danger? The danger is very simple and very real:
You think you can deal with it. You don’t think it’s that serious. You think you’ve got plenty of time. You’ve got things under control. You’ve always managed in the past.
So you click away from this page and check your horoscope instead. Or buy a new video game. Or play with the kids. Or meet up with some friends for a drink…
And all the while you’re thinking (and drinking), the alcohol is acting, your body reacting.
It’s like getting old. From day to day that face in the mirror doesn’t seem to change much, or at all. But glance at a 10-year-old photo and the difference is obvious. ‘I looked so young then’, you might say. But that’s getting things twisted. The fact that really counts? You look so old now.
Time only travels in one direction, in this existence anyway. So let’s make the most of it.
You’ve got the rest of your life stretching out ahead of you. And you know what’s even better? A rosy future free from addiction is yours just waiting for you, if you want it.
I’m sorry to have been focusing so much on the negatives. I’d far rather be talking about the amazing, positive changes and boundless energy that will surge forth when you break these chains which are holding you back and dragging you down. And I do a lot of that later on in the programme.
But you have to act.
Still think you can beat it on your own? Then let’s consider the true nature of this incredibly addictive poisonous expensive drug you’re so fond of just one more time. If you appreciate irony, you’re in for a treat…
Alcohol will slowly but surely lead you to lose your family, your job, your home, your health, your self-respect and your last remaining friends. Well, almost all your friends. All but one. The one that has been there by your side since the beginning of all your troubles, through good times and bad, through thick and thin. The only one that has ever truly stood by you in times of distress, loss, sadness and despair. The only one you know you can count on to be faithful to you from here to the grave. Did you guess its name? You should have, because I started this paragraph with it.
So I hope you’ve made it this far if you didn’t click away from our alcohol quiz earlier. I’ve made my point. Now it’s over to you. This is your last chance to positively change your life forever and start anew. The button below is turning gangrenous and will auto-destruct in a few seconds. Unless you do so first…
OK, no more buttons, turning green or otherwise, I promise. But it did occur to me that there might be a very normal and practical question that’s been niggling you.
Is this one of those programmes that touts itself grandly but ends up costing an arm and a leg, with no guarantee of results?
No. Drinking may ultimately cost you an arm and a leg, both figuratively and literally, but my 7 Days To Sober programme won’t.
Does it cost anything? Yes. I’m just a normal guy with mouths to feed and web site hosts to pay. Having said that, I’m not doing this to get rich.
My goal is to help as many people as possible break free from alcohol, and live the glorious, rewarding lives they deserve.
And that’s it.
My final piece of good news then? It’ll only cost you the price of a round of beers or a meal in an average restaurant to complete the entire programme. You can contribute more if you like, but that’s entirely up to you!
It’s been estimated that the typical heavy drinker may spend around £100,000 or $150,000 over a lifetime of bars and booze. Many don’t live long enough to reach that impressive sum of course.
Yes. There’s another reason I’m not offering the programme for free too.
They say that you get what you pay for. Or to put it another way, the more something costs, the more we believe it’s worth. If you think this is turning into a pop-psychology rant, you could be right, but I think there’s a lot of truth in it. It’s a vital point. You must believe the 7 Days To Sober programme is worth something, because otherwise you’ll just put it on a virtual shelf somewhere and forget about it and your health will hate you for it.
The flip-side of the coin is, if something is free, we don’t value it as much; if something we obtained cost us nothing, our subconscious mind is telling us that it’s worth precisely that – nothing – even if its true worth to us could be a great deal indeed.
So, by actually investing some real time or money in something, even just a little, we are more inclined to make use of and benefit from our purchase than if it had been a freebie
Personally, I’d love you to invest anything up to $150,000 in my programme, if you think that’s what it’s worth to you 😉
But seriously, the choice is, as I keep reminding you, entirely yours. If you can only manage to offer the price of a few beers sorry, Starbucks coffees, then that’s fine by me, and you’ll be treated exactly the same as the person who contributes thousands to the cause – I can dream 🙂 Cheers!
P.S. I lied about ‘no more buttons’, sorry, you can’t trust anyone these days, but hey – check this out! If this beautiful orange and blue button doesn’t make ya wanna click like crazy, then nothing will! See you in a minute…
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