Alcohol Facts FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions

The Drunken Dodo website is for anyone who wants a fast, effective way of sorting out a drinking problem, whether it’s for themselves or someone they care about.

My inspiring, original system, the 7 Days To Sober programme, is based on common sense and developing a deep understanding of both alcohol and ourselves, as well as defining what the ultimate solution will be together.

The 7 Days To Sober programme is inspiring and intense, and is aimed at motivated, intelligent people who are adult enough to admit there’s a problem, and realistic enough to know they have to do something about it, now, before it’s too late.

It’s for people who believe they control their own destiny, but who are mature enough to know that this time they can’t do it on their own.

It’s for people who are fed up being controlled by a cruel, treacherous enemy masquerading as a friend and who have a burning desire to eliminate this deadly situation from their lives for once and for all.

7 Days To Sober is for people who aren’t going to passively sit there and ‘let shit happen’.*

It’s also great fun, and highly inspiring. Positivity is key. After all, we’ll be mapping out your fabulous new future. The rest of your life starts today, as they say – make the most of it!

John Lennon paraphrased the quote ‘Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans’ in his song Beautiful Boy. If you replaced the word ‘life’ with ‘alcohol’, you’d be summarising the lives of countless victims of this evil drug around the world.

*Did you find my use of the word ‘shit’ vulgar, by the way? Let me tell you about true vulgarity and the ultimate insult to human dignity; let me tell you the truth about alcohol. That’s what Drunken Dodo is really for.

That would be moi. Me, I did it. Myself an’ I, all on my lonesome.

I’m a 50-year-old British male who was in the grips of alcohol for many many years until just recently when I decided enough was enough.

I’ve been pretty low, lost countless jobs and destroyed many perfectly good couplings, including marriages, father-daughter relationships and simple friendships.

I’m hanging in there now with my present partner and 5-year-old son, desperately trying not to screw stuff up yet again. And then there’s the incidents.

I’m also a pretty nice guy, who happened to fall into the trap in my teenage years. It only took me 35 years to get out again.

So Drunken Dodo is dedicated to all those who have been through similar situations. I know where you’re coming from. What I don’t know is where you’re headed. But I’ve got an idea.

If you are ready to sort your life out and ‘Take The Power Back’, as Rage Against The Machine aptly put it, then you’re in the right place. I’m glad you made it here.

I don’t know, I’ve always enjoyed making up crazy names for stuff.

You might think that using the word drunken in the name is a bit inappropriate. Won’t that give future giver-uppers the wrong signals? Well maybe, but that’s sort of the point. We’re ridiculous when we’re drunk, and we need to acknowledge that and move on. It’s just my way of saying, I know, but I’m over it now. I won’t forget it though.

As for dodo, well we all know what happened to them, don’t we? Extinct. Fell off the planet. Out of here. Hence the expression ‘Dead as a…’. Pretty suitable for victims of alcohol I reckon. Because that’s what’ll happen to us in the end, if we don’t take action right now.

And it sounds kind of fun, and rolls off the tongue nicely. Sing it with me now: Drunken dodo, drunken dodo, la la-la la-la; Drunken dodo, drunken dodo, la la-la la-la…

Nurse! Nurse?

Ahh, now, where do we start with this one? Let’s see, off the top of my head…

Ah, OK, so probably cirrhosis of the liver would be a good place to kick off. Cancer of various sorts kick in there too. Hangovers and swollen throats are more temporary, for the moment at least.

Then there are the incidental injuries caused by falling over or out of things, banging into stuff, people hitting you in fights, hospitalisation after car crashes (for yourself and your passengers, if you didn’t kill them outright), and those good old chestnuts, every heavy drinker’s favourites, alcohol poisoning or maybe a full-blown coma.

Straightforward death is also often a regrettable consequence of overdoing it. Does it still count as physical if you’re dead? I suppose it does, yes.

Alcohol also leads to you doing other crazy shit you’d never normally do normally. You know, under the influence non-smokers smoke, non-users use, non-abusers abuse, high guys do horrendous things to gals, and those wasted gals let them or are unable to resist. Sigh.

Highlights include broken marriages, ruined relationships with kids, ostracisation from non-immediate family members who have had enough, a general feeling of discomfort at family events, an unenviable reputation as ‘the drunk uncle’, and the list goes on…

Going into details would be easy enough: being aggressive or even violent with your kids, who learn to fear and, eventually, hate you; complete breakdown of any semblance of an intimate relationship with your partner; a reputation in the neighbourhood for your extra-familial wanderings and roamings in the company of your (now) one true love.

Well, losing your job, or successive jobs, for example. In reality, the problem is so widespread these days that it probably won’t be the first time employers will have had employees with drink problems, but still, it’s not a good look. Colleagues talk. A lot. You can’t hide the reasons for repeated lateness, grogginess, inefficiency, oh, and stinking of alcohol, for long.

And then the most innocent work-related social event will quickly give you the ideal opportunity to show your true colours. Be it after work drinks or the Christmas party, the opportunities to trip up are legion.

If things are getting really bad, it won’t be long before booze actually makes its way into the workplace, in the form of a well-loaded bag with stocks for the way home, or a little stash or flask hidden away for taking discrete (you think) swigs throughout the day. If only we could see ourselves as others do, what an eye-opener that would be.

Operating responsibly in society can get really screwed up by alcohol abuse. Even though there are quite a few structures to help people with problems, you have to be both in a state to communicate with them to get the help or benefits you need or are entitled to, and have the inclination to actually see the process through. Being beholden to booze generally messes all that up.

It’s strange, but your so-called ‘new best friend’ doesn’t seem to worry if you don’t wash, shave, change your clothes on a regular basis, eat anything worthy of the name of good food, make important appointments with those who are trying to help you (or recover money from you), and so the downward spiral continues.

Surviving in modern society, is a constant struggle for all of us. But if you are continually feeding your very soul with a substance which whispers, fuck it, don’t worry about all that, we’ll deal with it later, crack open another cold one, then things don’t tend to work out best for you in the long run.

You know, like getting thrown out of shops and cinemas (you can’t bring that in here sir), being refused access to public transport, forgetting your bank card code, or hey, just losing all your bank cards along with your keys, your ID, your bag, multiple expensive cameras, computers (yes, I am talking from experience here), and so much more. Fun fun fun.

People do some pretty crazy stuff when under the influence, everyone knows that. But it really can affect your mind permanently, and not positively.

There’s obvious things like difficulty walking and coordinating limbs. The tongue and lips seem to develop a will of their own, slurring words stemming from blurred thoughts. There are the memory lapses and impulsive, irrational behaviour.

Then, without going into detail because I’m not an expert, it messes with our delicate brain chemistry, can actually increase anxiety and stress rather than reduce it, often leads to or intensifies depression, screws with your mood, is strongly linked to self-harm, psychosis and suicide, and again you can kiss your  marvellous memory goodbye. I think I’ve remembered everything.

In the end you could be institutionalised way before your time. Way to go.

You know, it’s illegal to drive and drink. It’s also generally illegal to fight or attack people physically and even verbal abuse can land you in hot water these days.

The problem is, well, one of the problems with alcohol is, it both removes inhibitions and increases our sense of insouciance and invincibility at the same time.

We believe we can actually drive better with a couple of drinks inside us – how confident we feel! We think that now – right now, lit up as we are from the inside – would be the ideal time for telling certain people in our lives exactly what we think of them.

It’s also surprising how alcohol is often linked to criminal acts such as robberies and even killings. Just yesterday there was a report on the news that a gunman who had killed a couple of people had got fuelled and psyched himself up with our good old friend, C2H2OH, you know, ethanol, no? Umm, well, I’ll give you a clue: you find it in whisky, beer, wine, spirits – alcohol! That’s the word I was looking for. Evil is evil by any other name.

Drink isn’t so cheap, you know. It depends where you drink, obviously, but in bars these days it’s pretty silly what you have to pay for an average glass of gutrot.

Supermarkets are cheaper but, for us addicts, that doesn’t mean you save money, it just means you buy more booze. Logic and us, when faced with a well-stocked drinks section, well, it’s like a kid in a candy store. ‘Cept the ending isn’t happy.

Over a lifetime of seriously overindulging some estimates put the amount you spend at around £100,000 or $150,000. A nice little apartment in the country, for example. Or a very nice car (or just five nice ones).

That’s what you spend. But what are the consequences? Well, the funds you carefully consecrate to booze you obviously can’t spend on less important stuff, like family holidays and paying off credit card debts and your kid’s birthday and your mortgage and new clothes and proper food and stuff like that. You get the idea.

Disclaimer: Some of these are my own creations but many I trolled and Dodofied from the internet, so they may or may not be totally accurate. I’m sure you’ll get the basic idea though…

➛ About 5,000 young people – under 21 – are killed by alcohol-related events, including but not restricted to car crashes, suicide, murders, alcohol poisoning and basic stupidity…

➜ Binge drinking is becoming more and more common. It’s when you drink a lot of booze very quickly. For example, when men down five (or more) drinks in a couple of hours, four (or more) for women.

➩ Alcohol poisoning is a smooth short-term move (sometimes very short-term…). You too can try your luck by drinking as much booze as you possibly can: fun outcomes include loss of consciousness, coma and death.

➼ According to the long-standing president of my local alcoholics help group, the success rate for people who have simply tried to ‘cut down to a reasonable level’, as opposed to giving up completely, is around 1-2%.

➢ By 18 years old, 70% admit they’ve tried booze. For the more academic, intellectually-minded university student subset… the figure goes up to 80%.

➨ 1 in 3 ‘designated drivers’ on a night out have actually had at least one drink, despite their esteemed title.

⥤ Alcohol seriously impairs judgement as to what’s sensible and right, and can lead to taking the wheel intoxicated, starting unnecessary fights and taking part in unintended and/or unprotected sexual activity with strangers or people you really shouldn’t have done it with.

➠ The average Russian gulps down about 18 litres (4.8 gallons) of alcohol a year. This is twice what experts think is highly dangerous.

⇛ Every had problems remembering what you did when you got blind drunk last night? Don’t worry; there’s literally nothing to remember. An alcoholic blackout occurs because your brain temporarily lost the ability to create memories.

⤗ There’s an official programme started in Amsterdam in 2013 where alcoholics are paid in cans to clean the streets. They get five beers and some tobacco, a warm meal for lunch and €10. They’ve stopped causing trouble in the city’s Oosterpark, drink less and have a sense of doing something worthwhile.

Continue to Part 2 for more fun facts…

Disclaimer: Some of these are my own creations but many I trolled and Dodofied from the internet, so they may or may not be totally accurate. I’m sure you’ll get the basic idea though…

➛ The biggest binge drinkers are in the 18-34 year old bracket. This often leads to unwanted pregnancies (or just sexually transmitted diseases), drunken driving, pointless violence, deep remorse (for personal affronts) and, of course, alcoholism.

➜ The minimum legal age for drinking alcohol at home or on private premises in the UK is… five.

➩ Beer has been around for well over 5000 years, when it was a daily part the Egyptian pharaohs’ diet.

➼ It’s official: men are twice as stupid as women. If effect, men systematically drink (and get drunk) more than the fairer sex and are two times as likely to be involved in deadly drink-driving incidents.

➢ Six Americans die every day from alcohol poisoning.

➨ Around 3.3 million deaths occur worldwide due to alcohol, which is about 6% of all deaths, according to the World Health Organisation in 2015.

⥤ School children in the United States at the end of the 19th century were taught that even one drop of alcohol could result in loss of sight, insanity and even spontaneous combustion.

➠ Alcohol is firmly entrenched as a founding member of the unholy trinity causing the most disease and death in countries around the world, along with its cheery chums smoking and obesity.

⇛ More than 9 million people in England drink more than the official recommended daily limits. It’s also estimated that most of those people are blissfully unaware or unconcerned about the harm they are doing to themselves.

⤗ Very often, the very last person to realise they’ve got a drinking problem is… the person themselves.

Continue to Part 3 for more fun facts… 

Disclaimer: Some of these are my own creations but many I trolled and Dodofied from the internet, so they may or may not be totally accurate. I’m sure you’ll get the basic idea though…

➛ Two out of three high-school-age students who drink do so until they are out of their heads.

➜ Many researchers consider that official UK statistics on alcohol-related deaths should be doubled to around 15,000 a year, to take into account some of the 60 or so alcohol ‘enhanced’ related causes of demise such as breast cancer and mouth cancer.

➩ Going on a ‘booze cruise’ is a popular British day out, and involves taking the ferry over to France and loading up the car with huge quantities of beer, wine, spirits and tobacco at prices which are around half those in the UK.

➼ Absinthe, or the mystically-nicknamed Green Fairy, is one of the most alcoholic drinks in the world. By 1910 the French were drinking around 36 million litres of the stuff a year. It then got banned just in time to not completely lose the Second World War, but fortunately for medical professionals and undertakers was made legal again in 2004. Cheers Tinkerbell.

➢ A controversial research project involving giving alcohol to 1000 green vervet monkeys found they broke down into social drinkers, steady drinkers, binge-drinkers or… teetotallers, a bit like, hmm, us really.

➨ Around 17% of men and 8% of women will experience some sort of addiction to alcohol in their lifetime.

⥤ A favourite white spectator sport in early colonial days was to ply Aboriginal men with booze and get them to fight each other, often to the death.

➠ Beer names fall over themselves to be punnier than punny: Check out ‘Peter Cotton Ale: Now With More Hops’, ‘Audrey Hopburn’, ‘Hoppy Ending’ and ‘Pure Hoppiness’. Those are the clean ones (see later for the X-rated version).

⇛ Research in South Australia has shown that indigenous peoples between the ages of 35 and 54 are up to eight times more likely to die than the general population, with alcohol the main direct culprit.

⤗ ‘Baby mice wine’ is a Chinese and Korean ‘health tonic’ which is made by drowning and fermenting baby mice for a year. Eek. It’s supposed to be a cure for anything/everything, including asthma and, hey, liver disease – who’da thunk it?

Continue to Part 3 for more fun facts… 

Disclaimer: Some of these are my own creations but many I trolled and Dodofied from the internet, so they may or may not be totally accurate. I’m sure you’ll get the basic idea though…

➛ As promised, here’s the not in the slightest bit sexual/sleazeball version of ‘fun’ beer names for ‘fab’ guys – check out: ‘My Wife’s Bitter’ -ha!, ‘Honey Boo Brew’ (slogan: ‘This go-go juice g’na make you win’ – Wiki it, but assume the worst), ‘Woolyback: Overly Manly Black IPA’ – think a shirtless Putin riding bearback (pun intended), ‘Pearl Necklace’ – so-called because it’s, umm, brewed with oysters, yes, that must be it…), ‘Old Leghumper’ (Slogan: So many legs, so little time), ‘Sex Panther’ (whatever), and last but certainly not least, the now legendary ‘Bierbitzch’ (Gölden Pilsner) as in ‘Get me another…’. Hilarious.

➜ Ironically, whilst booze often increases sexual desire, it simultaneously knocks out men’s ability to perform. Which inevitably leaves them scrabbling for limp excuses. ?

➩ 40 per cent of the EU’s entire alcohol tax bill is paid by drinkers in Britain.

➼ Alcohol doesn’t actually get digested; it’s absorbed directly into your bloodstream.

➢ In the ‘Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous’, there are no less than eight explicit (capitalised) references to some sort of supernatural power or being: ‘God’ (x4); ‘Him’ (x2); ‘His’ (x1); ‘Power’ (x1). ? 

➨ Again based on 2015 World Health Organisation (WHO) figures, someone dies every 10 seconds from ‘harmful use of alcohol’.

⥤ A study suggests that people with blue eyes may have a higher tolerance to alcohol than people with darker eyes. This in turn could lead to greater consumption by ‘bluezers’, leading them to become bigger boozers…

➠ Over half a million Russians die every year because of alcohol abuse.

⇛ A couple of Scottish lunatics have created the ‘World’s Strongest Beer’. It costs £50 for a 275ml bottle, contains around 68% alcohol by volume and is fetchingly named ‘Snake Venom’. P.S. I was born in Edinburgh, by the way…

⤗ During Prohibition in the United States in the 1920s and 30s, the government ‘poisoned’ huge stocks of industrial alcohol normally used in paints and fuels and stuff, to try to stop mobsters from stealing it and turning it into drinkable… poison. The mobsters still stole it and people still drank it. Deaths are estimated at more than 10,000. 

More fun facts coming soon…

My aim is to share what I’ve learnt about booze over the last many years, including my unsuccessful and finally successful attempts to get the problem under control.

And the aim of that aim, is to help those who are ready to do the same… to do so.

I truly want to support as many people are possible in fighting this terrible, life-destroying addiction. It truly is evil, on many different levels, and one of the real tragedies is that people often don’t realise it’s even happening to them until it’s almost too late.

When the innocent victim (and we are innocent) does finally realise what’s happening, it requires a pretty Herculean effort to get on top of it. There are many ways to attempt this and each person, being unique, needs a method which is closely-suited to their own situation and temperament.

The Drunken Dodo website and the 7 Days To Sober programme is my contribution to the possibilities available out there to help people deal with alcohol problems for once and for all.

So what makes 7 Days To Sober any different to all the other programmes and methods, you are probably wondering. In a nutshell, it’s a fast, dynamic system packed with personality, information, motivation and even humour.

It treats participants as normal, intelligent adults who recognise they have a problem and have decided to deal with it.

The 7 Days To Sober programme is divided into 3 steps. The first two steps are quick and easy to do, and are available right now for free on the Drunken Dodo website, starting HERE.

Step 3 is actually a complete comprehensive course on how to stop drinking in seven days. The entire programme actually extends well beyond seven days, but the core modules are intended to enable people who want a fast-track solution to rid themselves of this burden extremely quickly.

Nothing obliges you to complete the seven core modules in seven days – feel free to define your own ideal pace. Nor does your support abruptly stop afterwards – you will continue to receive motivating communications and materials to consolidate your decisions and bolster your resolve for as long as you wish.

The 7 Days To Sober programme is delivered to you, in regular, progressive steps, by e-mail. The e-mails lead you, day after day, closer and closer to the ultimate solution for getting totally in control of your drinking forever.

The programme is far more than just e-mails though. In fact, each message provides an organised series of links which take you off to a wide variety of rich resources, including:

♥ Powerful Lessons

♠ Revelatory Ideas

♦ Interactive Exercises

♣ Short, Snappy Videos

♥ Inspiring Materials

♠ Motivating Quotes

♦ A Complete Set Of MP3s

♣ A Private Members Forum

All of these elements have been created and combined to provide you with a stimulating and varied one-stop-shop for taming the terrible beast.

Nope. How could it be? It would be impossible to know if any given approach or technique would work for any given person. There are too many variables and unknowns to this tricky topic. But you know that!

Anyone who unconditionally guaranteed that sorting out this problem will be a piece of cake would be being a bit unrealistic, if not downright irresponsible.

What I do guarantee is that I’ll be working with you as closely as possible to help you beat this thing together. That’s how I did it. With the help of someone who had been there and knew what they were talking about. Someone I trusted too.

So no, there are no guarantees, because the answer – the solution – when it arrives, will come to you and you alone.

What I mean by that, is that no-one can decide to take action for you. Only you will know when the time is right. Despite all the sensible and obvious information and logical reasons for cutting down or giving up in the world, that’s not how this thing works.

I will point you, hell, I’ll even pull, push, tug and kick you in the right direction, but it’s you who holds the key to your future in your hands. The truth is as simple and spectacular as that. Think about it.

It costs quite a lot of things; time, energy, effort, dedication, determination and of course money.

I’m launching this complete method at €37, which is around 27 quid (£27) or 41 bucks ($41).

This is, admittedly, more expensive than a paperback book or the random free information you can find on-line, but it’s also a lot less expensive than several other comparable plans* I’ve seen out there and maybe you have too.

It’s FAR cheaper than a retreat at a detox clinic, and can indeed replace such a course of action in many cases. It did with me. The principles I’ll teach you are exactly the same ones which helped me to give up for good in a matter of days. And I’m offering them all to you here and now for the price of a night out and not a very extravagant one at that.

The other way to assess the investment you will be making is to compare it against what you’ll be losing if you go on drinking the way you are at the moment. Again, the cost of this habit can be measured in lots of different ways.

Personally, I spent many thousands of pounds on booze over the years in order to enjoy the direct consequences of those indulgences: injuries, fights, hangovers, humiliation and fear, to name but a few.

Then there’s the deeper costs; broken marriages, lost jobs, mountainous debts, estranged kids, loss of respect, depression, ill health and the many years of life most heavy drinkers sacrifice. That’s right – the average boozer leaves between 10 and 30 years of their very existence under the table. Don’t you wanna stick around long enough to be the crazy grandpa or granny on the block for your kids and grandkids?!

Just that last point alone should be reason enough to give the 7 Days To Sober programme a try. I truly hope you will.

*OK, obviously nothing compares to my fabulous fun system I’m trying to get you to sample, but hopefully you’ll have realised that by now 😉

You should get a LOT out of 7 Days To Sober if you:

? want to know exactly where you stand with alcohol

? know you have a problem and want to tackle it

? want to sort your problem out FAST

? believe your problem is more mental than physical

? enjoy intelligent explanations over faith-healing

? appreciate a bit of humour to lighten a heavy subject

? want an easy-to-follow system without complicated options

? are looking for a clear, unambiguous solution

? like a personal touch with someone to contact if need be

? want to focus on a brand new future, not a regrettable past

? prefer to rely on understanding (the enemy), not willpower

? agree you need to know your enemy in order to defeat him

? believe you have the power to choose the future you want

? are realistic enough to know you can’t do it alone

? are ready to beat this thing, with a friendly helping hand

Get started for FREE! If you’re interested, Steps 1 & 2 of this 3 Step programme are absolutely free, so why not try it out right now and see if you like it?

This is one possible extreme of what’s happening here. Just stop drinking and never touch the blasted stuff again.

This may be the most challenging route to take for the serious boozer, but it’s also the most clear cut. If you’ve stopped drinking, you’ve stopped drinking, and that’s that. Nary a drop shalt pass thy quivering lips (wot?). It’s perfectly black and white with no ambiguity.

I go into this topic in much more depth in the 7 Days To Sober programme, so I’ll leave it at that for the moment.

Hmm, yeah, I know where you’re going with this one. It’s what a lot of heavy drinkers or dreamers aspire to. They don’t actually want to give up drinking entirely per se (or they can’t entertain the thought), but they know things haven’t been going so well lately.

So they nurture this little fantasy that they will be able to reduce their alcoholic intake, you know, cut down a bit to a more ‘reasonable’ level, whilst not actually going cold turkey.

Those drinkers who are currently cruising at this ‘apprentice’ level don’t generally feel they have a problem (yet) and so quitting or reducing their consumption is probably the last thing on their minds.

This idea (of cutting down) may come later, as they advance inexorably towards possibility 3, below. Because, funnily enough, very few people who have taken up drinking relatively recently, and are currently sitting pretty at this ‘sensible’ level go back to zero alcoholic intake. Why should they: they don’t have a ‘problem’! They like their poison and they’re ‘sensible social drinkers’ after all.

OK, this is a key level, and I imagine many of you reading this today will place yourselves here. I was too, for many years, and I’ve only very recently managed to give up for good.

Anyway, if you’re here, you are in a very perilous position. Without putting too fine a point on it, you could go either way. You’ll either manage to cut back to ‘normal’ drinking (statistically highly unlikely) or hopefully quit (absolutely possible), if you’re determined and clear-headed enough. Or you’ll succumb to your demons and we may never be able to have this sort of interaction again.

My 7 Days To Sober programme was very much written with people at this level in mind. You’re in the flashing red danger zone, and if you want to get out fast (and you must) then I would be delighted to work with you to help you do that but, as with everything, the choice is entirely yours.

This is the other possible extreme, which will probably be rapidly accompanied by loss of family, friends, job, home, money, teeth and self-respect, if they still had any in the first place that is. Oh, and life.

Not a good look folks, you really don’t wanna go there.

But the problem is, you see, as soon as that first-ever drop passes those quivering lips, you’re on a moving escalator, a sliding scale if you will, and the only way is down, unless you take massive action to halt the descent.

That’s the danger of the devil’s drink. We discuss this in detail in the 7 Days To Sober programme, if you’re interested.

7 Days To Sober is a perfect example of ‘massive action’, by the way…

In my experience, this doesn’t work very well. Unfortunately, for a variety of reasons, this is often what we try to do, often for many years, before eventually seeking outside aid.

The thing is, we normally genuinely believe that we either don’t have a problem, or that it’s only a little one and can be dealt with discretely in the privacy of our own minds.

Not only that, but there’s also a huge social stigma associated with drinking problems. It’s the sort of thing people talk about furtively in hushed tones which threatens to bring shame upon not only the victim, but his poor family too. All the more reason to want to try and sort it out alone.

Only thing. Booze don’t play by them rules. That’s part of the ingenuity of the trap. And the tragedy too. You almost certainly can’t beat it on your own and you’ve got to get help. Realising and accepting this is the first step towards recovery. And a damn brave one at that.

Good things and bad things about this one. The good thing is that hopefully you have people who love and care about you literally under the same roof, and if you are able to admit you have a problem and show that you’re trying to do something about it, they will probably be both relieved and very ready to help.

The down side is that often the most difficult people to come clean with are those you are closest to, due to feelings of shame and embarrassment. Ironically, they will probably have been aware of your problem a lot longer than you have.

They might also be a bit too close to you to give you objective, constructive opinions and advice. They may well be harbouring simmering resentment towards you for some of the dumb things you’ve done in the past whilst under the influence. What starts as a well-meaning ‘chat’ can often degenerate rapidly into yet another slanging match.

And of course, members of your family and friends and most likely not trained professionals and some of their guidance may be way off the mark.

This is an excellent first step if you don’t feel you can make progress on your own. Actually, it’s an excellent first step, period. Your doctor should be able to point you in the right direction and give you some preliminary advice and support.

I say ‘preliminary’, because your doc is not likely to be a specialist in alcoholism and the next logical step along this route will be to see someone who is.

Coming soon…

I don’t have any first hand experience of this organisation, but it’s very famous and very big and a lot of people with drinking problems have certainly passed through their hands with no doubt a fair number of successful outcomes.

However, there is also a lot of not particularly positive press about them which isn’t difficult to find on-line.

For example, it’s all, you know, anonymous, which means there are no official statistics to attest to their effectiveness whatsoever. Terrible figures like only 5% or 8% success rates are floating around out there and where there’s smoke there’s usually fire.

And then there’s their famous Twelve Steps to alcoholic redemption. I’m sorry, but I’ve read them, and the whole thing’s a lot of nonsense if you ask me, even if the original intentions were honourable.

I mean, the very first ‘step’ is to ‘admit’ we’re powerless over alcohol! Well that’s bull for a start. How lily-livered can you get, if you’ll pardon the expression? We’re supposed to cow down like pathetic little pawns and just pray things will get better one day. The whole thing’s founded on our supposed fundamental guilt and abject repentance for our sins, if He will absolve them. Jeez. What that’s got to do with solving a drinking problem I don’t know.

Well look, people can obviously believe whatever they want, but we’re dealing with an extremely serious, potentially life-threatening condition here, not fairies in the sky… Oh well, whatever. If the community spirit and open forum allows people to get some stuff off their chests then why not, but it’s not for me I’m afraid.

Having said that (oh dear, I’m feeling the need to repent for what I just said!), I’m sure there are many many local AA groups which don’t go over the top on all the religious stuff and genuinely do provide a very valuable service, so God bless them and, yeah.

P.S. I should also mention that there are quite a few secular groups out there too, so look around to see what you can find. Talking about it is always a good thing to do.

This might be useful I suppose but it’s a bit random, and the support you get will likely be more moral than truly practical. Unless the minister happens to have worked with a lot of people with drinking problems in the past, in which case fine, who knows?

And if you’re into churches or whatever you’ll probably be able to take the more moralistic and faith-based observations on board.

Anyway, this probably won’t be enough on its own and might not be much help at all if they aren’t able to address the real roots of the problem in a sensible, objective and structured fashion.

This could be an excellent solution for many, either on its own or in tandem with face-to-face counselling.

I’ll be honest with you: there are lots of comprehensive and authoritative resources out there in cyberland. It’s astounding – as ever – what you can find if you surf (and burrow) around a bit.

Then again, there is so much choice and so many approaches and techniques of all shapes and sizes, it can be really difficult to find one that suits you perfectly.

You can find all sorts of stuff. From highly technical studies and research papers from health professionals to the more accessible lay-person versions on Wikipedia. From fairly neutral discussions of the topic to gut-wrenching personal accounts of descents into the depths of despair and back. From large collections of free articles and advice created by charitable organisations to slick – and expensive – internet courses and ‘solutions’ from marketing gurus who are applying their ‘proven formula’ to milk yet another lucrative niche for all it’s worth.

There’s great stuff out there, and not-so-great. And what’s right for one person’s temperament and personality might be utterly wrong for someone else.

In the end, there’s no perfect solution, and that includes my 7 Days To Sober programme. You just have to look around and dig deep until you find something that looks good to you. It needs the right balance of professionalism and personality, proposing an interesting and motivating approach with an imaginative mix of the type of materials you will enjoy working with. And it should be easy to get in touch (and get a prompt, courteous response) if you have a question.

Oh, and the price has to be right. Yes, there’s always the price. Good luck!

It’s not, necessarily. It is what it is. It’ll be right for some folks, and not what others are looking for. That’s totally normal and fine and it couldn’t be any other way. Rather than telling you what it is, I’d like you to experience it for yourself. That’s why Steps 1 & 2 in my 3-step plan are absolutely free.

In this way, and by reading all the other pages on the site and the blog and on Facebook, you will get a good feel for what you can expect from me if you decide to follow the 7 Days To Sober programme.

Seven days, also commonly known as a week, is not a long time. It’s short, in fact, and the programme is fast, darn fast! That’s how easy and quick it can be to get your drinking sorted out for good. But it’s ain’t over when it’s over! In other words, I’m not going anywhere, and neither is the web site, the blog or the Facebook page and discussion forum.

I’ll be there for as long as you want to be part of the community to share your experiences and help others who need it. That’s what this whole thing is about: community. And I’d love you to be part of that.

So to get back to the point, if you like the system, if it’s right for you, then great! But I can’t know that for you. Some people want a more straightforward, information-only approach; others like the personal touch. Some will like how I present things; others won’t. Some may be looking for a 3-day programme; others may prefer to do things over a month.

Whatever the case, I have no problem with that and bear no grudges if my system isn’t for you. If you do decide to give it a go, though, know that I’ll do my best to encourage and support you during this life-changing period. I salute you for wanting more for yourself and your dear ones, and for taking the action needed to make it happen.

Quick question: Do you have an interesting, unusual or even intriguing personality, all your own? Or are you utterly indistinguishable from all your friends, family, colleagues, shop assistants and random strangers you pass in the street?

OK, just wondering. Personally, I think we’ve all got something that makes us different – a certain je ne sais quoi – that secret sauce that goes to make us what we are: a unique and wonderful human being in our own right. How boring life would be if that wasn’t the case.

Well for me, web sites and on-line courses and resources should be the same. OK, not if you’re looking for basic facts – then you can just go to Wikipedia and have done with it. But what about if you are looking for something personal, or need information or help with something you care about deeply. Wouldn’t it be nice to feel that you’re interacting with another human being out there somewhere, and not just a bunch of cold uncaring text on a computer screen?

So for me, the problem is that many if not all sites and on-line resources out there dealing with problems of alcohol are utterly devoid of all personality despite treating this most personal of subjects. I’m sorry, but if I’m going to be delving deeply into all my demons I don’t want to feel like I’ve just got an encyclopedia or a dictionary on the other end of the line. I want the human touch. That’s me.

Similarly to the point above about personality, I haven’t come across a single on-line alcohol abuse or ‘how to stop drinking’ resource which contains even the slightest hint of a sense of humour. A characteristic they share with all the holy books, incidentally.

Which is a shame. Humour and especially laughing at oneself and the absurdities of life is one of the greatest pleasures you can have. It doesn’t always have to be serious. People do crazy things. And one of the best ways of getting messages across is through admitting how stupid we can be sometimes in a light-hearted way.

Sharing a joke or a smile can get you through some of the hardest times. It brings people closer together too. I’m not a fan of sarcasm or comments intended to deliberately hurt – that’s anathema to me and about as far from humour as it’s possible to get. But if someone does something particularly dumb then they deserve to be gently teased about it to an extent. We’re laughing with them though, not near them.

You’ll find a most of my humour in relation to alcohol is based on my many own dumb life decisions and actions – in the end, if you can’t laugh at yourself, you shouldn’t really be laughing at anyone, don’t you think?

Look, I’m a regular guy. I’ve had a lot of problems with alcohol and I’m on my way to sorting them out for good. But rest assured, I’ve still got plenty left (problems). Life doesn’t seem to get any easier, whatever you do.

So the way I look at it is you should make the best of what you’ve got and get on with the rest of your life. I care deeply about this tragic topic and I’m there for anyone who has fallen into the trap. That’s the reason I set up this entire site. To show to people they are not alone and hopefully offer some of them a way out of the prison.

If you’d like to be part of this very personal little corner of the web I’m looking after, then you’re more than welcome. Come on down, and share what’s important to you. And I’ll listen. You don’t get that from Wikipedia…